As I sit here, I reflect on these past few years and the culmination of the years that brought me to the great divide—that unmistakable point in my journey when everything changed. This review exposes the man I was and the man I continue to transform into. This is not a story of flawed to perfection; but rather one of presumed perfection to humbly-flawed.
When this review settles on me as a father, I pause and think of my Angel Girl. I loved her as any father loves his daughter. With Angel, I was taken by her gentle confidence. She appeared shy, yet had a strength that grounded her in independence and her caring spirit was her gift.
I was blessed that God prompted me to write her the following letter to fulfill a school project of hers. This was written just one month before that fateful day…
God’s providence allowed for the timing of this letter and my heart is humbled by His foresight. I am truly thankful that I was able to share these heart felt words with my precious Angel Girl.
It becomes my challenge to embody a transparent heart in all that I pursue, and none more essential than in the relationships that surround me whether intimate or casual. This is to take what God is teaching me through the loss of my Angel, and putting the gentle heart He has given me into action. This new perspective has slowed my perception into patience through the love He has comforted me with. It is with this patience I experience all that He shows me and my character gains hope, and with this hope I am receptive to receive His eternal blessing.
3And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Rom. 5:3-5)
All that I would give to be the father to Angel as she lives and breathes today with this new perspective and faith, but it is just not to be. I pray that I embody this Godly view with my boys even though they have grown beyond my immediate guidance. It is my responsibility to remain intentional in their lives and be the change I encourage them to be.
My dreams and memories contain my Angel for me here, but I long for the heavenly reunion that will come to me one day, and that will be only in God’s time.
As I write in my journal every night, “Hey you my sweet sweet Angel Girl, I love and miss you with all my heart and soul” and with that I say Amen.
May God Bless You and Give You Grace!