My precious Angel Girl went to be with the Lord five years ago today. It seems like yesterday, and yet it seems a lifetime ago—how can this be? It is strange how time has its own agenda when it comes to my recollection of these past several years.
In reflection, I can say with certainty, the loss of a child is the heaviest weight a person can carry, and when it is fresh, there is a crippling effect that takes over and there seems no way to lighten the heaviness caused by its suffering. I know this to be true because I have tried to carry this weight. What I have learned is that I am not strong enough to carry it alone, and the strength needed to endure, comes from God the Father. He is the source of my comfort and strength.
3All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. (2 Cor. 1:3-4)
There are other burdens that fall on us that have their own weight attached to them. Others do not realize the struggle that is taking place in relationship to the burden at hand, but there is heavy lifting going on behind the scenes. I say this, because no matter what the affliction; the loss of a child; financial woes; marital/relationship issues; or career challenges, a weight is never heavier than when you are carrying it. It is how you choose to lighten it that is the key.
Through my experience I have discovered and rediscovered that God the Father is the key. I look to Him for the comfort and the strength to endure the struggles I encounter. The action I take is to realize I must surrender my self-expectation of “lifting it alone”. Without that surrender, I think and run in circles and the weight just increases. Next, I confess my shortcomings to God in relation to my struggle, and then I ask Him for help. “Help me God…” It is with the comfort I receive, that I try to comfort others in need. I do still struggle, and I still try to “lift it alone”, but the time it takes to surrender is getting shorter day by day.
The weight I feel through the loss of my Angel Girl is lighter today than yesterday, and this is only by the grace of God and His comfort.
May God Bless You and Give You Grace!