For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. (Jas 3:16)
In my youth, I did not recognize the true purpose of reaching out or the contrary of pitching in. It is not as if I avoided or neglected such actions, it was that my motives were linked to a self-diluted intention. Even at a subconscious level, I believe there was a “what’s in it for me” gear that was tightening down the dangerous bolt of selfishness.
As time passed on, there was a shift in this process. It is not that this trait was relinquished; it just managed to change form. Through this phase, my goal to reach out or to pitch in was followed by a self-affirming “see what I’ve done” attitude, and silently sought gratification for being such a “good” person. I do not feel I did this in blatant fashion; it is just in the end, I seemed to want some sort of recognition for my efforts. This is where my human nature needed to subdue my ego and allow my reward to rest in the Lords hands.
Coming into my present journey, I have brought that later phrase into my truth. I am learning to allow my reward to rest in the Lords hands. It has been extremely healing to release my concerns and expectations of how others view the efforts or gifts I put forth. As I now move forward in faith, I relinquish my selfish ambitions and serve these and other ventures in the name of Jesus knowing my reward, if any, will come from Him.
For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name, because you belong to Christ, assuredly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward. (Mark 9:41)
My prayer is that as I reach out and pitch in, I do these things in the name of Jesus and allow my selfish nature to fall away releasing any self-gratification I may be seeking and know that my true reward will come from the Lord.
May God bless you and give you Grace.