Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe. (1 Cor. 1:21)
I have been in hibernation in a sense these last few weeks, which has given me time to reflect on my growing relationship with the Lord. Throughout much of my early journey, I have tried to use my intellect to solve the mystery and find a connection with God to discover why life is the way it is. It is an ancient question that cannot be answered with human wisdom. Let’s face it, many wiser than I have attempted this quest to no avail.
The portion of my journey that encompassed this unattainable knowledge left me frustrated and spiritually isolated. If I could not make sense of the way things were in relation to God, I would side step the issues, and rely on God to give me a free pass – since he held all the secrets. This drove me away from any spiritual growth I would have towards Him, and allowed my human intellect to make God responsible for any difficulties I would experience on my journey.
I eventually fell out of this trap, realizing there is a responsibility factor that is up to me to fulfill. Although I had lifted the blame off of God for the trials I would incur, I failed to lean on Him in those very times. This kept me entangled in turmoil longer than necessary, leaving me to wonder what I was missing.
This yearning subdued the urge to discover God with my intellect and allowed my heart to find the relationship I needed to trust in Him. God is not a discovery or a riddle that needs or wants to be answered. He is the constant that just wants us to find faith in Him in all of our endeavors. I know that when I am able to release my struggles to Him in faith, He will lead me to the other side. When I do this, I also need to release my expectation of what the other side entails.
This has been my truth as I am making my way through the loss of my Angel. As I rest my faith in Him through this chapter of my journey, I have been consistently comforted and amazed as little miracles continue to be revealed. It has given me the courage to release more of my grip on life and seek His guidance in all that I do.
May God bless you and give you Grace.