Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. (Matt. 21:21)
There has been a pattern in my journey that has been difficult to disband. The resistance attached to this pattern has followed me and at times paralyzed my progression and altered my decision to proceed. The debilitating thought of uncertainty, better known as doubt, has hindered my faith along the way more than I care to reveal.
When I was younger, I had no care or fear of consequences, so the doubt I experienced in these times was hidden under the ignorance of my actions. My imagined fearless nature allowed me to ignore the direction in which my lack of knowledge led me. In the end, I found myself in a place I would not have chosen. I know it was doubt that left me stranded in this “how did I get here” place.
As I began to mature, there was more importance placed on the results of my decisions. This is where the hesitation of doubt began to gain momentum. The opportunity to second-guess myself became more prevalent. I developed skills I was confident in, which allowed doubt to subside in certain areas. But this just gave me the illusion that everything was fine in all areas. This unbalanced cycle needed to take a different course and the idea of faith is what was needed to break this pattern.
My recent path has brought this debilitating thought front and center leaving me to wonder what my next step should be. My revived faith has me relying on God more and more for assurance, but the pattern of doubt still lingers. It is in these times I need to allow my reliance on God to be strengthened. Just as my sorrow ignited my new found faith, it is my hesitation to proceed that beckons to have a deeper relationship with Him.
I know as I continue to place God in this position, doubt will subside and I will have the ability to move mountains without a second thought, for…I can pray for anything, and if I have faith, I will receive it. (Matt. 21:22)
May God bless you and give you Grace.