What Do We Have Control Of?

I have thought of this entry for a while now, and it is difficult for me to discern what my purpose is in sharing it at this time. I pray that my writing is clear and that my words make since.

As parents, Stephanie and I are loving and supportive. I feel we add just enough discipline to maintain an even balance for our kids as they grow to adulthood and beyond. In the area of worry and the continual battle of trying to keep them safe…we struggle just as all parents do. So in the constant dialog of: Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? And the myriad of other pressing statements, we are guilty of this concerning protection. Although, I have learned that try as I might, I will never know God’s plan. For Job said I am nothing—how could I ever find the answers? I will cover my mouth with my hand. (Job 40:4)

The night that Angel left us, she was under our roof and our protection. Her passing was sudden and unexpected. The actual cause remains a mystery to the medical examiners office and us. The struggle to keep her “safe” was out of our hands that night. This quandary has led me to believe that control is just an illusion.  It’s like a child holding a kitten too tight just to cuddle and keep it safe, and then gets scratched in the process. The child then learns to loosen their grip just enough to apply gentle comfort.

I could have gone several directions as a result of Angel’s passing. And by no means am I the only person to go through something like this. It is nothing compared to what Job endured. Yet, standing just a few months removed from the stark emotion of this surreal happening, I thank God that I have fallen in the direction of Faith. There is no other way that I will be able to keep my sanity, but by the Grace of God!

May God bless you and give you Grace!

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About Michael Cartwright

Follower of Christ Jesus! I am a person of patience, compassion and understanding. I have been married to my wonderful wife Stephanie since 1990. We have 3 children Dalton, Dylan and my late daughter Angelica (My Angel Girl) who ascended to the heavens on June 29, 2010. She continues to teach me many great lessons.
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4 Responses to What Do We Have Control Of?

  1. Anonymous says:

    >Our quandary is so opposite. My Boys have watched me struggle with my post accident disabilities ,most of their lives. They know ,the only control we have is faith ,in conjunction with common sense. I ride again, only to feel real again. I don't know if this is a good lesson for my sons, or just ego, grasping at whats left. Your ability to share your experience , is the gift from your Angel and God , that will solidify what we know………that it is the indirect actions , propelled by love ,that make the biggest differences. Mike you have paid a large price, toward the pool of understanding, and should be proud that God finds you strong enough to speak ,for his honor.

  2. >Thank you for sharing. God Bless!Ruth EshbaughWebmasterwww.goodnewsnow.com

  3. Thank you for visiting my blog today. Your post is insightful and poignant. You are right — control is an illusion. I know that intellectually, but my emotions often make me forget it, which is why I struggle in the ways reflected in my post that you read today. All we can do is love and express gratitude for our precious children, for every moment we are blessed to have them.

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